Rebuilding a life after the losses that take its structure down with them — a job, a marriage, a person. Written by someone doing it, not someone talking about it.
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The Plan
My marriage ended in June. Within days I had a plan: accept there is no way back, change your context radically, and rebuild — starting from a village on Bali.
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I Don’t Feed the Pain
Why there is so little pain on these pages: attention is food, and whatever you rest it on grows. The method is to walk through pain, not to describe it.
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Applied Nonduality
If you accept the nondual view fully, how do you actually live? Seeds, roles, and the meta-position — and why fixing a situation usually makes it worse.
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The Maze, the Canvas, the Painter
Therapy maps the maze from the inside. A deep, deliberate psilocybin trip shows you the maze, the canvas it is painted on — and sometimes the painter.
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Mushrooms and Mantras
The practice behind my recovery: psilocybin with a playlist of mantras, no intention-setting, once a month at most — and how the crisis stage came to an end.
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Church
Kirtan and ecstatic dance are my church: a weekly immersion in a room full of people in a good state. Your vibrational background determines almost everything.
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A Temple for the Body
Gym, sauna, ice bath, surf, yoga, jamu: the physical layer of rebuilding a life, and why the body has to learn safety the way it learns to swim.
Rebuilding Life 